Giving Yourself Permission To Succeed

February 22nd, 2010 No Comments

Some of us have a love/hate relationship with success. We may come from families where being poor was a synonym for honorable and “service” meant giving away everything you are good at for free. We want more, but we either feel guilty, or are made to feel guilty by family and friends when we actually start to get or go after more. To avoid the pain of rejection from family and friends, we give up or even sabotage our own success. We identify a dream, start working and start seeing it come to fruition. Then, fear success, failure, the unknown or of losing the love and support of those close to us sets in and we stop doing what will get us there. It’s like we feel like we need permission from a long lost teacher or parent in order to succeed.

The permission we need most is from ourselves.

I’ve been there, and even slip back in from time to time. But when I do, I have a few ways to refocus and recommit to moving forward: Finding my why and affirming success.

Find Your Why
  • How will my success benefit and serve others
  • To whom will I be a blessing personally, once I reach this goal?
  • What will I be able to do for myself and my family by achieving this goal?
  • How will I feel once I’ve reached this goal?

Affirm Success

  • Create affirmations that support your success and counteract your fears
  • Recite them daily or whenever you feel tempted to give up on the dream

Finding the why can break through the barriers to committing to success. My “why” is seeing people happy, successful and getting unstuck. Personally, I love giving gifts,giving to causes and able to be a blessing to my family and friends. When I looked at it, being successful at what I wanted to do helped a lot more people than me. The list of who I help was great. Imagining how it would feel what life is like being able to do these things accelerates inspiration and motion. Affirmations help reprogram negative thinking and shift your perspective. Two of my favorite affirmations for success are:

  • It is a good thing for me to be successful.
  • I am well paid for doing work I love and through it I can bless others.

When I find myself slipping into backing off from my goals and dreams, getting complacent or fearful, I revisit or add to my list of “whys” then start affirming my success. Pretty soon, I’m so inspired and filled with joy from visualizing the great things I can do and people I can help do by being successful, it outweighs the fear and gets me in motion.
Find the “why” and give yourself permission to succeed, then get going!

Posted via email from Staci J. Shelton

Read More »

10 Things More Precious Than a Gift That Can Fit In A Box

February 13th, 2010 2 Comments

 

“No gift is more valuable than the love, affection and thought that inspires the giver to give.” ~Staci J. Shelton
I‘m one of those people who really doesn’t care much about Valentine’s Day (don’t tell my husband).  I’m pretty much about Love all year round, so for me, it really is another day.  I get excited about it because I it reminds me to show love to those who are not with me daily.  It also gives me an excuse to creatively express my love.  Beyond that, it’s a pretty normal day.

I love getting and giving gifts, but I’m more interested in the thought, emotional investment and meaning behind a gift than the gift itself.  No gift is more valuable than the love, affecton and thought that inspires the giver to give. What is harder: to run to the store and get flowers, or to pay attention and give someone something that has lasting meaning?

As I reflected on Valentine’s Day, I asked myself what means the most to me, and what expressions of love impact me the greatest. These are the things that bring me joy and make Valentine’s Day and every day blessed for me.

  1. Family and Friends
  2. A handwritten card or note with a genuine expression of love.
  3. A gift or poem made by my children
  4. Having my children share their thoughts, dreams and feelings with me
  5. Daily Breakfast and dinner time with my family
  6. Spending time in person, by phone or skype with my best friends
  7. A silent morning with a journal and pen
  8. Talking with my Mother
  9. Friends and family who love and accept me unconditionally
  10. One on One time with my husband, daughters and people I love.

Connections over confections; these are the things that make life sweeter. 

Want a dose of inspiration? Visit Love, Staci




Posted via email from Staci J. Shelton

Read More »

Love Is Not Conditional

February 12th, 2010 3 Comments


love
–noun
1.     a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.     a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

Valentine’s day is upon us, and there’s a lot of talk about Love.  We have so many criteria to evaluate who loves us, who we love and why. We judge by who gives us the most expensive gifts, does what we want them to do, tells us what we want to hear.

We have merged love and expectation together. Therein lies the problem.  Love simply is. It is not a conditional occurrence.  It is not a negotiating tool or tactic to get what we want.  We’ve become conditional in our giving of love. We make unspoken “love” agreements.  We will love, as long as someone does, gives or becomes what we want.  If those conditions are not met, we withdraw or remove ourselves. If we find ourselves tempted to stop loving someone because of a disappointment, then we have to question if it was love at all.

People will disappoint us. It’s guaranteed.  Excluding people from our lives and refusing to love them because of what they do will result in lonely, dysfunctional lives.  Conditional loving is fearful loving. It is a way to control situations and people to avoid pain.  And, it is an illusion.  We cannot build a solid loving relationship by placing conditions on love. “I will love you if…” is not love. It is fear. The irony is that while we want unconditional love, we don’t always give it.

Love is not about gifts or romance. It’s not about people always agreeing with us.  Love is about acceptance. Real love is loving someone even when you’re not getting what you think you want or need from them. Loving to get anything in return is an arrangement.  To give real love we must remove the conditions. Separate the love you have for someone from being pleased or displeased with what they’ve done or left undone. Unconditional love is love that is present even when someone is being unlovable.

So, the challenge this Valentine’s day is to grow from the conditional to the unconditional. Remove the expectations we have of people from the love we have for people. Address the disappointments, just don’t withdraw the love.

Want a dose of inspiration? Visit Love, Staci

Read More »
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »
Subscribe to RSS Feed Follow Me On Twitter!